Gamophobia. (Monday Moments #72)

She had wanted to be with him for as long as she had seen him. They had been friends for over 2 years. Those 2 years had been full of ups and downs. He crushed her hopes time and again. He was never there when she really needed him. She could get many other guys who would be better for her but she was also sure that none of them would love her the way he did.

On the other hand, he was a puzzle. When he met her, his long relationship had just ended. Ever since he saw her, he knew something was different about her. He really liked her. But he had his own issues on moving on and having a stable life. In those 2 years since he had known her, she had been distant. She cared about him but even she was not there when he needed her. She let him down in many ways too.

That day, she had a feeling, this inner voice, which kept telling her that he might propose to her. It was deep down but it kept surfacing again and again. After 2 years of wanting to be with him, she thought it would be easy to say yes. But the thought of him proposing, let alone the thought of her saying yes terrified her out of her mind. She was scared because she knew how much he hurt her. She knew how difficult he could be at times. She knew how devastating it could all end up in. It might even ruin their friendship. There were so many little things which could go wrong and so many bigger things which could just end in them both getting hurt. Being with him was all that she had ever wanted but now that it was going to happen, she was drowning in gamophobia and just hoping that somehow he would come and not let her drown.

(‘Monday Moments’ is a blog series wherein I write about an incident or a moment in a short paragraph. It’s not a story, but just a short description to express and explore the most common joys and also the uncommon miseries.)