Hello Readers! Welcome to another page of the diary logs! Just to tell you all, these entries are entirely fictional & just something I came up with. There are many people struggling with a lot of things & reading something relatable always feels good & helps to make a connection. This one's about some hidden dilemmas each person faces in their love life, but probably doesn't quite perceive them in this way.
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Dear Diary,
Being human, we get dilemmas all the time. Sometimes it's as minuscule as pizza or pasta, beer or vodka, orchids or roses. But, the big life-changing decisions need so much of thinking, evaluation & analysis. Especially when it comes to love life, why does it have to be so complicated? Dating, relationships, commitments, and is there anything else I don't know about!? It's such a difficult world out there, whether you are single or committed. But, from whatever I’ve been reading in novels or watching in these many romcoms, I have come to some really abstract views about love. There's so much written about it, so many conflicting thoughts from equally important personalities that I'm quite in a pickle again. So, diary, help me, will you? Here goes, the maze in my head!
- Opposites Attract:
This one has been along for such a long time; Opposites attract! But, is attraction enough? What about after that? Connection? Emotional bonding? Feelings? And that's just one aspect of it. You can go ahead with your casual one-night stands with this 'opposites attract' philosophy. But, I'm talking about love here. The main thing is, once the ‘attraction’ fades, you focus on the 'opposite' aspect of it which then makes you realise how you're not made for each other, because all you do is argue. So, what to do? Go with your gut, or stay single for the rest of your life? Then, he make mundane statements like, "You've changed so much." And you'd actually start to question your identity, along with your self-worth. And all this time, you won't realise that he has already just 'changed his mind' from a shy & short lady of the month to a tall & curly haired lady of the month to a crazy & loud lady of the month, probably questioning her about some other mundane questions?
- You're Not an Option:
You hear this one all the time too; how to not make anyone your priority when they treat you like an option. How I'm not a backup plan or anybody's second choice! When did we we lose value for each other? When did humanity became such an abysmal sea of tears that we judge our self-worth by being another's first or second choice? Screw them. And then, on the other hand, you watch a film & the girl says, "I'll wait for you, because you're worth waiting." So, is she supposed to wait for him until he sleeps with a couple of girls and then comes back to her because apparently, she's 'marriage material’? DUDE, It doesn't work that way, at least, it shouldn't.
- In the Moment:
This is the crappiest thing, I believe. Is there ever anything that's supposed to happen at the right time? You plan & plan & plan, but whatever can go wrong, will go wrong. You want your first kiss on the beach, under the moonlight, while you're filled with dreams of the future, but instead you get sunburn & drunk depression. Are you supposed to wait for the 'perfect moment' or just go with the flow? Because you might as well wait 84 years if you decided for the 'perfect moment' to arrive. Also, you might as well be framed stupid & taunted for life if you do something 'in the moment'.
How am I supposed to function in such a complicated world?
How am I supposed to understand people’s evil mind games hidden behind their fake smiles, when I don't even understand myself?
How am I supposed to identify the ‘pack of wolves’ who are all in sheep’s clothing?
How am I supposed to move on from one person to another in a matter of a few months when people can do that in a matter of minutes?
How am I supposed to 'let it go' when people have tied me with a rope that keeps me dragging toward the past & into the grave?
How am I supposed to survive in this world where I feel a diary to be more human than any real human being I have ever met?
I've learned to simply love me. I can remember getting it wrong and I can remember missing great opportunities for relationships. I sat back and stayed to myself and learned to enjoy me. I learned how to treat myself, take myself on vacation, out to dinner, out to see a great show. I learned what I liked and didn't like. I then committed myself to God and myself. Once I became confident in who I was I started dating lightly, just coffee dates, nothing long or expensive. I met a man that didn't make any sense to me. He was like some of the others who would call and call but he was also different in his heart and personality. He accepted me for who I was and understood my love of God, my love of myself, my celibacy, my intense love of family. After asking me to marry him 3 times, I said yes and tomorrow we make a year of marriage.
ReplyDeleteI've always heard people say that love is an action. The honeymoon phase wears off. Things aren't always as new as they once were. But you made a commitment and you have to continue.
ReplyDeleteRelationships are most definitely complicated beasts. I think everyone is different and everyone looks at them in slightly different ways, but no one should feel inferior in them.
ReplyDeletejust like many other things, relationship come in stages and some lasts longer and some doesn't. What makes it challenging is choosing and being with the right one. I guess all of us just need to wise, strong and learn to move on. www.crayonized.com
ReplyDeleteOh man, relationships can be tough. I think it all works out in the end, when both parties are willing to work on it.
ReplyDeleteRelationships require a lot of work. In today's world, relationships seem to be just as much of a " throw away" as some of the items we discard after a while. People seem to be so greedy that they don't think about others or how they feel anymore. As complicated as it can be though, if you work hard and remember to think about others feelings, talk things through, make compromises, things will work out. But it takes both parties to do so.
ReplyDeleteRelationships are often complicated things. I love how you dive in and peel back the layers - thoughtful, raw, real. You have such incredible writing talent!
ReplyDeleteRelationships are difficult and most of the times we never find our perfect ones. They don't work unless both the involved people don't put in equal effort.
ReplyDeleteWhat an amazing read! It really is sad to think what goes on in this world but at the end of the day we still have what's important and that's our family!
ReplyDeleteI lost so many years of my life being in the wrong relationship...because I went with the flow at a young age. It taught me to love being myself first and foremost, but I learned it so late... letting someone else define me for far too long.
ReplyDeleteRelationships between people are tough because we are so complex. We should all learn to have confidence with ourselves and love ourselves first. Thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteIt is never easy to find a perfect match and form a long-lasting relationship. In this day and age, people are much more difficult to understand than ever before. I spent time contemplating about how to live a worthwhile life so I really empathise with you as I've been through lots of dilemmas, too.
ReplyDeleteRelationships are quite difficult especially now since it easy to just throw away once they get bored or has lost its spark. I think what you really need in a relationship is commitment, show and prove it. Though what people think about a relationship is different for each person.
ReplyDeleteIt is a nice write up.Whatever go wrong will go wrong for forever.It is not easy to find the perfect match.Only is to adjust bit.
ReplyDeleteI got serious Taylor Swift vibes from this post. Relationships can be extremely hard, especially this day in age.
ReplyDeleteThat is an especially good written article. i will be able to take care to marker it and come back to find out further of your helpful data. many thanks for the post. i will be able to actually come back.
ReplyDelete