There was just a week left for her exams to start. Where others were busy studying, she was wondering why she was even doing that course. Whenever there was too much pressure, she always zoned out. Instead of doing what she was supposed to, she did a lot of useless over-thinking about it which lead to tension. Instead of truly saying "I love you too", she thought many times if she really really did. Instead of just letting go of a situation, she thought about it over and over. Instead of just studying, she was thinking about her career choices. And after a lot of thinking, the conclusion was always the same; tension. She took out her study material. She had the syllabus. She decided on a subject. Soon she realised she had no idea what she was reading. She then took up another subject which was all the more technical. She went back to the first subject and tried her best to keep at it. After 20 minutes, she scribbled hard on the pages and threw the notebooks away. She yelled out loud in frustration. She couldn't take it. All she could envision was the bare one week, the face of a strict professor and an 'F' on her answer sheet. She was so tensed that she felt like just quitting it all, taking a flight to a random place and just relaxing. At that moment, she had snapped. The whole thing was so overwhelming that her focus and sincerity was all lost. In that moment, she was tensed beyond repair and she knew the only way to stop that was to study. But it wasn't that simple. Tension won the battle as she continued to sob over her life.
(‘Monday Moments’ is a blog series wherein I write about an incident or a moment in a short paragraph. It’s not a story, but just a short description to express and explore the most common joys and also the uncommon miseries.)
I feel like this happens to many perfectionist types (like me). We feel so much pressure to be the best at everything, that we make it hard on ourselves to be good at whatever we are doing. We lack focus.
ReplyDeleteThose moments are all too familiar to me. Over thinking is common among INFJ people though!!
ReplyDeleteI can so relate to this! Sometimes I feel like I work really well under pressure, but sometimes I just find myself overthinking and I can't get anything done. I love this idea for a blog series.
ReplyDeleteThis moment has happened to me often. When there is too much going on my mind wanders aimlessly and nothing gets accomplished. Well said!
ReplyDeleteI love the Monday moments series idea and I totally understand that moment as a (somewhat) recent college grad and now a blogger lol
ReplyDeleteGood post. Those are moments and thoughts too many of us have too often. Seeing it all on a page makes you rethink the negative thoughts that we need to release to turn those thoughts to a positive.
ReplyDeleteThis is a great post that shows others what it is like to be in his situation and to show those in this situations that it is common. I have anxiety and while I manage it and can get though each day, it isn't necessarily an easy thing to do. Having to go over simple tasks over again because you cant focus is time consuming and frustrating.
ReplyDeleteRachael
www.herhappyhome.com
These feelings are so universal, many women can relate. Anxiety is a constant companion in life for many.
ReplyDeleteThese feelings are so true. Sometimes we let fear take over. I saw a quote recently. It said, "Tell all of your negative thoughts to go straight to hell where they belong." :) So true!
ReplyDeleteThank you all for reading. :)
ReplyDelete