Tension. (Monday Moments #27)

          There was just a week left for her exams to start. Where others were busy studying, she was wondering why she was even doing that course. Whenever there was too much pressure, she always zoned out. Instead of doing what she was supposed to, she did a lot of useless over-thinking about it which lead to tension. Instead of truly saying "I love you too", she thought many times if she really really did. Instead of just letting go of a situation, she thought about it over and over. Instead of just studying, she was thinking about her career choices. And after a lot of thinking, the conclusion was always the same; tension. She took out her study material. She had the syllabus. She decided on a subject. Soon she realised she had no idea what she was reading. She then took up another subject which was all the more technical. She went back to the first subject and tried her best to keep at it. After 20 minutes, she scribbled hard on the pages and threw the notebooks away. She yelled out loud in frustration. She couldn't take it. All she could envision was the bare one week, the face of a strict professor and an 'F' on her answer sheet. She was so tensed that she felt like just quitting it all, taking a flight to a random place and just relaxing. At that moment, she had snapped. The whole thing was so overwhelming that her focus and sincerity was all lost. In that moment, she was tensed beyond repair and she knew the only way to stop that was to study. But it wasn't that simple. Tension won the battle as she continued to sob over her life.

(‘Monday Moments’ is a blog series wherein I write about an incident or a moment in a short paragraph. It’s not a story, but just a short description to express and explore the most common joys and also the uncommon miseries.)

Writing. (Monday Moments #26)

          She was at the coffee shop. Everything she needed was there. Coffee, music and of course, cheesecake. She opened her laptop and continued writing her novel. She was working on her second love story and enjoying the process. After one successful novel, the thrill and adventure of writing had just doubled. She thought too much into the plot. She just wanted it to be perfect, romantic, literary and kind of awesome. She just sat there and closed her eyes. She recollected the story in her mind and as she reached where she had left off, a new idea struck in her head. And then began the peaceful sound of the keyboard. Most of the times while writing, you think that what you're writing is total crap but just a rare few times, it feels right. And that was the time it felt right because the speed of her typing increased just as the smile on her face. After writing around 2000 words, she paused. She hadn't even realised that it was already two hours. That time, she felt pure bliss. That was the moment she cherished that she was a writer and a novelist. Even when she was a 27-year-old single woman, she felt like she was in love. She was in love with her characters and their love story. She wanted the girl to be ambitious and sentimental. She wanted the boy to be ‘the one’ for her. She was smitten with their romantic dates and lovely dialogues. She wanted them to travel the world together and live their life without worries. Even when it couldn’t happen to her, she wanted it to happen to her characters. That was the moment she realised how beautiful it is to make a story that people will fall in love with. That was her moment when she felt like she could write about miracles or fantasies or world peace and love those concepts without having to consider their genuineness. Because, fiction isn't just an escape, it is a retreat to our own sanity. And at that moment, she celebrated it.

(‘Monday Moments’ is a blog series wherein I write about an incident or a moment in a short paragraph. It’s not a story, but just a short description to express and explore the most common joys and also the uncommon miseries.)

5 Things To Know About Detachment.

          Some of us get easily attached to people. Once befriended, we want to know everything about them. Then we start thinking about them, caring for them and end up getting attached in no time. But somewhere amidst all that caring and loving, we forget about caring and loving ourselves. If the attachment is both ways, then the relation can move mountains. But if it's one sided and you're on that side, then well, you're doomed. You start getting your hopes up but then those expectations always hurt.

          I reached that point where I just wanted to stay alone. I didn't want to talk to anybody. So, I uninstalled this social media chatting app, Whatsapp, which I used constantly. Checking last seen at. Checking the read receipts. Checking status and display pictures of all random people who I don't know why exist on my contact list. It's just so much of a waste to think, care and love people who don't give crap about me. So I just removed that stupid app with all its neurotic features which creates distance rather than bridging it. I was on a one-week Whatsapp hiatus. There were stages after I uninstalled it. I felt I shouldn't have done that. Then I had an urging need to install it back again. But after 3 days, I was completely fine without it. To be honest, I didn't get a headache ever since I removed it. It was really calming. I felt like I was on a cloud, isolated from the world. And I have to admit, it feels good. Sometimes when you are done with people, just take a break from them. Detach, for your own good. It can be damned difficult but once you think over it, you will be the one embracing happiness. Here's what you should do about detachment.

1. Think:

          Once you have cut cords with the world or taken your intellectual getaway, just think. Think about everything that's going on in your life. And talk aloud with yourself. (That's not crazy. In fact, it's a sign you're a genious.) When you clear your head, you'll get a clear vision. Your perspective towards some people might change. When you put yourself in their position and see that you're just an option to them, then you'll realise how easy it is to detach. If you stop interacting and they stop interacting as well, you'll get your answer. And i isn't just about people. When you're detaching, you're just stepping away from your life. And sometimes you see things better from a distance. It'll help you know whether you really love yourself or whether you really want to do what you're doing and all sorts of aspects. 

2. Love Yourself:

          Don't be too hard on yourself. We all make mistakes and pay for them. But that's how we learn. So if you feel like some relationships are just toxic, then step away. Simple to say, difficult to implement but that's how it is. Great things take time and you need to give yourself that time to be awesome again. Just be kind and love yourself.

3. Value Real People:

          You'll meet people who remember you during exams, people who remember you when they're in a problem, people who'll say one thing to your face and another thing behind your back and just selfish people. But you'll also meet people who'll be true to you, people who'll love you in all your forms and just wonderful people. You only need those people. Such rare and precious people should be treasured. When I went on a hiatus, I wanted to see who'll actually bother to notice. And I'm glad that a few friends did. (Divya, I love you babe!)

4. Use the Time:

          Once you decide to just let it go, you'll realise how much free time there is. There's time saved from worrying meaninglessly because you don't know what people are doing. There's time saved from thinking about people who don't even matter. There's time saved from all the drama, to be precise. I was so relieved. I used this time effectively to study, read and write.

5. Solitude:

          Oh the solitude! I'll let the silence speak for itself. 

Have you experienced the need for detachment? How do you manage it?

Birthday Celebration. (Monday Moments #25)

          After a tiring day, everyone knew that it made no sense to wake her up at 12 AM. So instead the family planned a whole another thing. The moment she stepped out of her bedroom in the morning, her husband, son and daughter were outside as they said aloud, "Happy Birthday!" Her sleepiness was replaced with an exhilarating glow. She smiled wide and thanked them. Her morning newspaper was brought to her by her son. Her daughter made tea for her. And soon followed husband's breakfast. She was so excited with the royal treatment. Later, they went out for lunch in the restaurant she always wanted to go. Post lunch they ate kulfi at their usual place. She was overly joyous. When she thought they were headed home, her husband took a different direction leading to the highway. And just like that the family were off on a long drive; something she always enjoyed. After the drive they went home and it was time to open the gifts; like all of this was not enough. Her husband gifted her with a stunning jewelry set. The kids got an apron on which was written World's Best Chef. They made her a beautiful greeting card with glitter and magic. All these wonderful gestures made her heart melt. After a while, everyone was napping. As she saw each of them, she felt she was the luckiest person alive. She thanked God for blessing her with such a lovely family. At that moment, she wasn't just the birthday girl but she was a queen. Because she felt like a queen. At that moment, her happiness knew no bounds and she was grateful. It was a birthday she'll never forget.

(‘Monday Moments’ is a blog series wherein I write about an incident or a moment in a short paragraph. It’s not a story, but just a short description to express and explore the most common joys and also the uncommon miseries.)

The Proposal. (Monday Moments #24)

          The girl and the boy were at her favourite band's concert. She was out-of-the-world happy to be there. As she sung to every word of all the songs, he couldn't help but gaze at her. He looked at her with that smile and said to himself, "How happy she gets by these little things. She's weird. I guess I'm weird too for getting her those things. Yes, we are weird together." His smile said a million things as she kept fangirling over the band members. She kept saying how it was the best day of her life. But she didn't know that it was going to get much better. The band started playing her favourite song which was a lovely slow-beat romantic one. Just after the chorus, the guitarist stopped. He took the mike and said, "This song is for the lovely couple there!" The cameras pointed to the couple. And then the guy got down on one knee and proposed to her. There were waves of cheers. He flipped his sign card which now said, "Will you marry me?" Her hands were clenched to her smiling face. She had tears in her eyes. She nodded a yes and there was another round of cheers. The camera captured them as they kissed. The band called out their names and continued with the performance. She was confused over whether it really happened, whether he really proposed her, whether it was really at a concert, whether her music idol actually saw her and said her name. So many amazing things swayed her as she was just speechless. She couldn't hold so much happiness at one time. He was so joyous that he planned the whole surprise. He knew she deserved to be on top of the world. She was his queen and he was her king. They left their embrace and just looked into each others' eyes. Their glance shown how much they loved each other. At that moment, nothing else mattered because they were in love. At that moment, they were the happiest people in the whole world.

(‘Monday Moments’ is a blog series wherein I write about an incident or a moment in a short paragraph. It’s not a story, but just a short description to express and explore the most common joys and also the uncommon miseries.)

Me Before You. (Book Review #18)

          Hello book nerds! It saddens me that I get to read less these days. After the 1 book per 2 days streak in July, this is just downright disappointing. Now that I have a study leave of one month, the first thing I did was get back to my lovely books! And I'm not lying, but it feels so much better to read than do anything else. It's like getting back into my natural habitat!

          My last book review on The Kite Runner was more than a month ago. That's why I'll enjoy writing this one. I started with a few books last month such as 'And The Mountains Echoed', 'The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari' and 'Me Before You'. The most interesting book was 'Me Before You' which I finished first and so here's the review! (Includes spoilers.)

Introduction:

          I found a recommendation to this book under the list of 'Read this if you liked The Fault in our Stars'. That should have been the first cue as to this depressing, saddening, life altering and gorgeously miraculous novel. When you get a hint like that, you judge it too hard and tend to forget enjoying the reading process. So just forget about other plots, alive and dead characters, endings and try to enjoy this sad love story.

This is the first novel of Jojo Moyes that I read. I liked her writing. It's simple. It's funny. She can make the reader involved in the story. She can make amazing sarcastic conversations too. It wasn't that after reading this book I said, "I can't wait to read all of her books." But it has intrigued me to read the sequel 'After You'.

Characters:

          Louisa Clark is a 27 year old woman who doesn't have a job or a meaningful relationship or her own home. She has nothing figured out. Not even herself until she meets Will. Her life begins to change in a positive way once Will enters her life.

          William Traynor is a 35 year old quadriplegic who is sarcastic, funny and handsome. And he wants to die. He used to be that person who loved adventures and travelling but is now restricted to a life in a wheelchair. So that really sucks.
          Nathan is Will's carer. He's mostly invisible. Katrina is Louisa's sister. She is smart, practical and an opportunist. Patrick is Lou's boyfriend. He's into fitness and obsessed with it. I didn't like him much, which is how it was supposed to be, I guess.

Storyline:

          The story revolves around Louisa and Will. She gets a job as Will's carer. At the beginning it's tough because they don't get along well. He's mean and sarcastic with her. She just takes it until she starts being a smart mouth too. Only after a while she finds out why she was given a 6-month job. That was because Will had a death wish. He wanted to kill himself at the end of those 6 months. After knowing about this, she almost quits. But her sister gives her an idea to change Will's decision by showing him what life is worth.
          Then begins Lou's mission. She starts a schedule and gets engrossed in travel plans. After some failed incidents, there are also some good ones. Soon, Louisa and Patrick break up. Louisa plans a whole trip with activities like bungee jumping. But Will gets pneumonia. So they end up going on a relaxed vacation to Mauritius. Louisa confesses her love to him. But, his response shocks her. He says that she can't be the only reason for him to live. She wasn't reason enough. (That line just broke my heart.) A few days later, his death wish is granted. He gets to say a goodbye to Louisa. He changes her life even though she couldn't change his.

Overall Review:

          I had somehow expected that he would die. But there was this teeny tiny bit of hope and possibility of him coming around. So even though I was prepared, I wasn't really prepared. I know people who love this book, but it wasn't really among my best reads. Firstly, there wasn't a solid plot. Everything was quite predictable and depressing. Secondly, the major part of the book, that is, those 6 months were very boring. I know those events are supposed to bring life in Will but it just got monotonous. But at the end, I was extremely heart broken.
Sometimes if the end gets to people, they say they love the book. That happens with me in the first stages of book hangover. Only after the hangover ends, I go back and think about the book as a whole. So the book gave me real pain and sorrow. But later I realised how uninteresting the previous part of the book was. So I ended up giving 3 stars to it on Goodreads.

What's your opinion about 'Me Before You'? Have you read 'After You'?

Your Favourite Lyrics Say A Lot About You.

          There's a reason why our favourite books and movies are our favourites. And there's a reason why our favourite songs are our favourites. I had heard that a person's favourite lyrics say a lot about them. It brings out their thinking and emotions. It's a way of saying something without actually having to say it. Sometimes it's something really deep while at other times it's just random. I've been listening music a lot recently and I agree by and large with that concept. There's always a song defining my mood. And there's always one sentence which I sing with deep passion. That feeling made me write this post. Here are some of the lyrics I sing out loud as if it's my own life story.

1. "They'll tell you I'm insane."

Blank Space, Taylor Swift.

2. "I've got a jet black heart and there's a hurricane underneath it."

Jet Black Heart, 5 Seconds of Summer.

3. Dear No One, Tori Kelly.
(Basically the entire song.)

4. "This is a modern fairy tale. No happy endings. No wind in our sails."

The Heart Wants What It Wants, Selena Gomez.

5. "Say what you wanna say and let the words fall out. Honestly, I wanna see you be brave."

Brave, Sara Bareilles.

6. "Only words bleed."

Photograph, Ed Sheeran.

7. "Tryna find you but I just don't know.. where do broken hearts go?"

Where Do Broken Hearts Go, One Direction.

8. "I screamed so loud but no one heard a thing."

Clean, Taylor Swift.

9. "I might be okay but I'm not fine at all."

All Too Well, Taylor Swift.

10. "It's gonna be all right."

Shake It Off, Taylor Swift.

          Don't read too much in these sentences or you'll figure me out. But. there are more sad lyrics here than happy ones. I think that music has this magical power to make me sad even when I'm not and make me happy when all I want to do is cry. Sometimes these lyrics just touch my heart and then there's no doubt I'll sing them for the next 24 hours.  I think that's the power of art. Books, movies and music can change my mood swiftly.

Sometimes I'll just keep lip-sync songs while I'm on a walk. But sometimes, I'll sing alone in my room understanding every syllable. There's just no in-between.

Which are your favourite lyrics? How do they define you?

Artist's Canvas. (Guest Post #4)

          Today's post is by Santosh Satpute. He's a friend and an incredibly talented person. He has a keen eye for photography. He sketches amazingly. He also makes sculptures with utmost perfection. The most wonderful thing is that he hasn't taken any professional coaching for any of these. That's how artistic he is. Here are some of his photos, sketches and sculptures.

Sketches:

 Sculptures:

Photography:

You can follow him here: 

Facebook Profile 

Facebook Page 

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Reading. (Monday Moments #23)

          The extended weekend had begun. She had three days of uninterrupted time for herself. Since she lived alone, there was no one to disturb her. She was awaiting this weekend since a long time. She had come up with perfect excuses for reasons she can't hang out with friends, visit parents or attend the office party. She sat in her couch with coffee in one hand and a book in the other. It seemed like an ideal date with herself. She began reading and she jumped right in the pool of words, swimming gloriously. It was her natural habitat. Because fiction made a tad more sense than reality. As she travelled from one chapter to another, she found herself at peace. Time passed faster as she was in a whole another world living someone else's life. At some moment, she had forgotten about her own life and the people in it because she became the main character in the book and those fictional characters meant a lot to her than real people. She snorted at her fictional funny lines. She blushed when her fictional boyfriend was romantic. She wept when her fictional friends died. She had the time of her life living an era with those people who didn't even exist. That's what reading does to people. It takes away their personal emotions only to inflict them with someone else's. Half the book in, she checked the watch and it was 2 am. She just read for 6 continuous hours. The moment she realised that, she knew how genuinely happy she was. That was the moment when she just knew how reading was the thing she turned to. Reading wasn't just an escape but it was a chosen way to enter into worlds of magic and love. At that moment, her happiness knew no bounds. She thought of making some more coffee as soon as she finished the next chapter.

(‘Monday Moments’ is a blog series wherein I write about an incident or a moment in a short paragraph. It’s not a story, but just a short description to express and explore the most common joys and also the uncommon miseries.)