Mom's Food. (Monday Moments #18)

          It was the weekend. He was returning from his 2 week office trip. The 4 hour journey had tired him out. All he wished was to be in his bed and rest for at least 10 hours. But that was still minutes away. It's like when you're near something, your desire to get it increases much more. That was happening to him. He was approaching his area and he couldn't wait. Finally, he was home. Before he entered his room, his mother stopped him. She told him to eat dinner first. He was surely hungry. So he didn't argue about that. His mother put a plate before him. In it was roti with potato vegetable, salad and pickle. It was their basic food. He ate the first morsel. He was so relieved. After eating outside food for two weeks, he realised how much he had missed this. Food made by his mom tasted divine. He continued eating. He ate by absorbing all the colours of food. He ate by tasting every bit of it. He ate with satisfaction and happiness. He watched his mother. She was looking at him. Without exchanging any words, she understood his feelings. She was the best chef in the whole world at that moment. At that moment, nothing else mattered but that food. He could taste some fancy dish which serves little and costs more. But it wouldn't make him this happy. He could taste some spicy food at a dhaba. But it wouldn't make him this happy. At that moment, that food was the best he had tasted. It had his mother's taste and love.

(‘Monday Moments’ is a blog series wherein I write about an incident or a moment in a short paragraph. It’s not a story, but just a short description to express and explore the most common joys and also the uncommon miseries.)

Love Yourself.

          Hello readers. You might have noticed a pattern on my blog lately. I've been posting about life and thoughts. I'm not someone who will write about perfectness of things when I'm not feeling them. I write because that's my portal to express myself. So when I'm sad, I write something like 'Why Do Bad Things Happen To Good People?'. When I'm confused I write about overcoming dilemmas. When I see people fighting, I write an apology. Right now I'm feeling exhausted all the time. Amid all this, I'm learning how to keep myself normal.

          People can be bizarre and pessimistic. Circumstances can be unfortunate and unreasonable. Environment can be unsupportive and gloomy. The future can be bare and bleak. There will be times when all you want to do is scream at the top of your voice. There will be times when all you want to do is not think. There will be times when you feel numb and clueless. There will also be times when you'll wish a start over. There are just so many random things which cause so many random emotions. Among those many random emotions might be some which might really destroy you. And you can't let that happen. You can't let those feelings take over yourself.

          You have come so far. There must have been multiple times when you felt like things are terrible. But, eventually they come around and you celebrate happiness. This is just a phase which is going to be over. If you know this already, learn to believe it. Once you trust yourself, everything will be all right. This is what I've been doing to love myself amid all the random happenings around me.

1. Taylor Swift.

          No matter what happens in my life, there's always a Taylor Swift song that explains it. There's no denying that I'm a hardcore swiftie. When I listen to her songs, I actually feel better. If I'm feeling lonely or broken, I just shake it off. The way I sing and dance to 'Blank Space', they'll tell you I'm insane. Everything apart, Taylor is a goddess. And after listening to her music, my mood changes and I feel much more optimistic about myself. So haters gonna hate, heart-breakers gonna break and fakers gonna fake. I'm just gonna shake it off!

2. Quotes.

          Today I logged on to my Pinterest account. It always helps. These great images combined with meaningful words is a great inspiration. There's always that one quote that catches your attention and you can't stop obsessing over it. I read this: "She lost him. But she found herself. And somehow that was everything." After reading this, I was hooked and spent half an hour reading quotes. You can check out my quotes board which has some amazing stuff. They will make your day and feel grateful for your life.

3. Stop Thinking.

          I am someone who thinks and over-thinks practically everything. So when you start doing that, mostly it's all negative things that lead the way. It's okay to just stop thinking. It's perfectly normal to just chill and leave out all the complications. Just pause. Pamper yourself with an ice cream. Watch something funny. Talk to people who matter to you. And then when you have to think about it, stay rational. I believed that I have to think about everything. But now, I just pause all the nonsensical stuff, watch a few episodes of FRIENDS and later come back to it. By then, the gravity of the matter seems smaller and better to tackle. So you'll start loving yourself when you understand that.

4. Hobby.

          Doing your hobby is the best way to love yourself. Read. Write. Watch TV. Listen to music. Play games. Cook. Just do whatever that makes you feel like yourself. When you do that thing which fills that incompleteness within yourself, you will love how amazing your life is. You will love yourself.

Whatever phase you're stuck onto.. whatever complications you're going through.. whatever you feel.. just remember that you are awesome. You don't always need another person to fall in love with. Just be in love with yourself and other things will fall your way.

3 Ways to Overcome Dilemmas.

          Have you experienced that sometimes you can just walk away from a situation. But you don't. You decide to stay. And later on you regret on that. There are just these random things that make you want to stay. And when you stay, everything gets all messed up and you start to regret that first decision. You think what would have happened if you'd have left? Or if you hadn't thought about it so seriously? Or if you hadn't cared at all? All these what-ifs sound so much better than the real scenario. But those are just some made-up fake theories. Just like fake fantasies.

          Here's what you should do when you get dilemmas. I'm saying dilemmas because at that time we're not sure whether it's going to be good or bad. So here are some pointers.

1. Trust your Instinct:

          I'm sure you must have heard this millions of times. When you're unsure about changing your job. When you're determined to get married. When you're writing an examination. It just about applies everywhere. When you're in a complicated situation with complicated people, you have two options. First; to try to understand them and get them out of their mess. Second; to move on and not give a damn about their lives. I know the first option seems very sensible and humane. The second one seems rather harsh and selfish. At times, the first option might get you within all the complications. So, why take that route at all? Unless it's absolutely necessary, there's no need to jump into the well. Just distance yourself from such things. Trust your instinct. Follow your gut feeling. And do what feels right.

2. Feel the Vibes:

          Believe it or not but vibes are real. Some people just bring along positive vibes whereas some carry a negative vibe. It's evident by every thing they do. Right from how they carry themselves to how and what they speak. It's essential to understand those. Once you're on right track, it becomes easier to take a decision. I guess it's okay to fall into complications for people with positive vibes. Because you know that you'll be out of those. But there's no reason to make a fool of yourself by helping out negative vibed people. In this case, distancing yourself from them is based on your judgement of their vibes.

3. Past Experiences:

          You may have to deal with similar situations or same persons. At such times, you have to remember your previous incidents with them. If they were unpleasant, just drop the topic and say no. If they were of any value, then go ahead to help them. After all, experience in such things can also save you from becoming a mad person.

          The most important thing in these situations is learning how to say yes or no. If you truly believe in that situation or person, then there's no reluctance as such. The real deal is when you have to say no. Usually people don't like to say no. It comes off as selfish, egoistic and what not! Once you say no, people form an opinion about you which isn't good. But, you have to learn to say no. Remember that you have to think about yourself. Remember those instincts, vibes and experiences. Don't be hasty. It's perfectly all right to say no. Just distance yourself from all the crap around you and think about yourself, for once.

Similarities. (Monday Moments #17)

          He was new in the city. He had joined his office along with two other girls. As new recruits, they were confused all the time. They were just some strangers in a new environment. The guy was a smart fellow who had never worked in a backward area before. One of the girls was working there just to get some real experience. Both of them began talking. Soon, they started talking about the other girl whom they had instantly hated. They said how weird she was and how she didn't fit in. Then, the girl closed both her fists and banged them against each other. The boy said, "Oh my God! Did you just give her the finger?" She said, "Yeah, it's a habit. Oh wait. I do it the way Ross does it in FRIENDS!" They both had an ecstatic expression that said, "I know right."

With that one reference, just like that, a chord of friendship was formed. They talked about how they loved all the same American and British sitcoms. They moved on to the topic of music which was again similar. They both loved the same authors as well. He said, "No one here knows any of these things. I'm glad that you know these." She said, "I know. All the things about which I can talk, no one is aware of. So they just think that I'm a serious person." Their interaction increased and soon they realised how similar they both were. Not only were their likes common, but they also shared similar thinking. That feeling was like talking with oneself but not exactly. In that moment, they were two people who were similar beyond imagination. That was the moment of pure happiness on finding someone like-minded in an alien place with alien people. At that moment, they knew they would always be friends even after a long time.

(‘Monday Moments’ is a blog series wherein I write about an incident or a moment in a short paragraph. It’s not a story, but just a short description to express and explore the most common joys and also the uncommon miseries.)

Getting Tired is Good.

          I remember the past 3 months of holidays. I used to wake up late, watch TV for hours, read for more hours, write about many things, eat and then if possible sleep at 3 am. After my tenth standard board exams, this was the most relaxing summer vacation. The way I rested this time I thought I've taken my lifetime's rest. But it doesn't work that way. Now as I've begun college, I'm so busy. I get up at 7 am, read newspaper, exercise, revise notes then go to college. And there's no fixed time when I'll return home. Because of the recent assignments, all of us stay back and work on them. And actually I have fun with the 'post-college-staying-in-college' thing. I always used to rush home when the bell rang but it's not like that anymore. In fact, I'm bored to go home because I really enjoy the company of my friends and classmates. But when I reach home, the wave of tiredness hits. It's not like I'm not tired at college. I definitely am, but it just somehow gets overlooked. And when I'm home in my protective shell, it all resurfaces and I'm like, I could sleep standing up!

          This kind of tiredness gives me a feeling that I'm working. It gives me a feeling that I'm not just doing nonsensical work. It feels like something I've earned. And it's good. Even though, I'm exhausted, that feeling is good. It's like a proof that I have worked hard enough. And that fact gives me happiness.

          Have you experienced this? At times, it totally sucks to be that tired and still finish all the chores. But then you lie on your bed. You fall asleep in the next few seconds. And that's priceless. Instead of tossing and turning in bed, you sleep in a matter of seconds. That's another reward which hard work gives us.

          I just enjoy working in a team which I never thought was possible. I enjoy doing extra curricular work which I thought wasn't my area. I get peace in getting tired which I thought was irrational. All those things which seemed impossible are the ones which I'm doing and enjoying as well. And I think that counts for something.

An Apology. (Monday Moments #16)

          He irritated her all the time. She insulted him in front of their friends. While she took it lightly, he was deeply hurt. After understanding the real situation, she couldn't help but cry at her stupidity. It was just a misunderstanding. She was just reacting to his actions but unknowingly she went too far. She was someone who never fought with anyone. And when she fought with him, she didn't know the rules. She crossed a line which she couldn't have possibly known. He had his own emotional reasons to get so affected by it. Energetic and happy from the outside, he was a complicated and secluded person inside. Even though he could've tried to ignore it, he had a vortex which no one knew about.

          She said, "I'm really sorry. I had no idea that you'll take it to heart instead of just laughing it off. I had no idea that I was the one who started it all. I know how horrible I've been but my intention wasn't to get you hurt. Nothing that happened was on purpose. I want you to know that I care for you and always will. If I'd have known that it would drift you so away, I never would have uttered a word. If I'd have known it would cause serious damage, I'd have just stayed silent. If I'd have known you'll be so hurt, I'd have never entered your life. If I'd have known you better, we'd be at a better place. All these ifs are killing me. And after going through it again and again, I dread every bit of the things I said even when they were just jokes. I hope you give me another chance to win your friendship back. Because without a friend like you life seems dull and boring. If I wouldn't have been selfish and rude, we would still be friends, like before. Friends who play pranks and just laugh more than they breathe."

(‘Monday Moments’ is a blog series wherein I write about an incident or a moment in a short paragraph. It’s not a story, but just a short description to express and explore the most common joys and also the uncommon miseries.)

An Escape from Reality.

          Getting up at 7 o' clock. Catching up with the news, followed by exercise. Going to college (or office) for 8 hours. Just work by keeping your head down and tolerating the nonsense. Coming home and relaxing for a while. Then working again on projects and new assignments till what turns out to be 2 am. Sleep for about 4-5 hours and then repeat the cycle. Most people have a sedentary lifestyle with a fixed routine. It varies from what I've written. But, my days usually go this way. It's too brief to actually know how they really are. Sometimes even I'm confused how they are.

          When you get adjusted to a particular routine, there's this phase of just going along with it. It's when days go faster, you get more involved and weekends are there before you know it. Everything starts to happen pretty fast. I know that time passes faster when you're enjoying yourself. But, I'm neither happy nor sad about it. I'm neutral in entirety. Most of the times such lifestyle is better than uncertain events popping up unexpectedly. It's better to know when you're going to go home. And it's even better to escape reality when everything becomes too much.

          I remember just two days ago, we got a free lecture. That day was particularly not that great. Friends were messing around other friends. Typical college stuff. But, there has to be a limit, right? So, after all the things becoming too much, I just went to a corner of the classroom, took out my mobile and began reading. At that time, nothing would have brought me back to reality than escaping it. It's a way to freshen up and come back to deal with life. Reading is my escape. And I'm sure you have your escapes as well. It could be something as simple as closing your eyes and counting. It could be more complicated like gardening. It could be just anything that lets you drift to another world while staying where you are.

          Right now, I'd love a weekend retreat to some peaceful place as an escape. But, it's neither rational nor possible. So, instead here I am, writing my thoughts, escaping from reality. Although, I'm not sure if writing about 'reality' is exactly escaping from reality. For what's worth, there just needs to be some happy place. That happy place could be a book or a hobby or a person. So, whenever you're exhausted from your regular life, just retreat to your happy place and make your stay worthwhile.

Why Do Bad Things Happen To Good People?

          "If you can think of a reason; any reason at all why the universe is so screwed up and random and mean; now would be an amazingly good time to tell me because I really need some answers." This is what Dr. Meredith Grey (Grey's Anatomy) said and I just found it too relatable. Haven't you noticed how all the horrible things just attack at once? How something terrible happens over which we have no control over? How good people are so susceptible to get affected by bad things? How's it even possible? Why does everything is so screwed up and random and mean?

          There is obviously a reason why I'm writing this post. Firstly, I've seen it happen many times to be able to just suffer in silence. Sometimes it's me and at other times my friends. But this time, its just a realisation. All these random things pop out of nowhere and soon its a huge heap of mess. And it's not possible to just get it over with. It takes persistence and patience.

          There might be a lot of work load; presentations, studies and tension. There might be some relationship problems; crushes, affairs and marriage. There might be some unsettling problems with your peer group; professional and personal. There might possibly just be anything that can happen. And you just have to live through it. There's no pause button. There are no options. There are no intermissions in life. I think that it really sucks to have to deal with a number of issues at once. And I know that life is not a vacation. Even I hate these moments of second guessing, being the sensible one, having a final say and taking all the responsibility. But it's just how it is, right? It doesn't matter how much of a good human being I am, some things always go wrong. More often than I imagine. It's tough but it's life.

Sleep. (Monday Moments #15)

          It was a tiring Saturday for him. After a four hour long meeting and some heated discussions, he also had to run a few errands. So overall it was a busy day for him as he jumped from one thing and landed in the next. After working for 13 hours on the weekend, he breathed a sigh of relief for expecting a relaxed Sunday. It was just 10 pm and he never liked to sleep early on a Saturday evening. But exceptions always pop up unexpectedly. He got into his bed and started listening to music. He listened to his 'Peace Playlist' with the slow beat melody soothing him. He lied down. The thought of not getting up early the next day made him happy. He thought of all the rest he would get. Those moments of relaxation and worry less state of bliss were all he needed at that time. He remembered how he never got more than 6 hours of sleep every night. But then he covered it all on the weekend. He realised how the process of going to sleep is so simple when you're tired. And how it's lengthy when you've got hundreds of things in your head. One song after the other made him more calm and sleepy. He loved to fall asleep while listening to music or while watching television and even while reading a book. He believed it was magical and surreal. 'All of Me' started playing which left a smile on his face. He closed his eyes to let the song inside his soul. He didn't even realise when he fell asleep. It was one of his most cherished way of falling asleep. After a while as the song changed, he opened his eyes. Unaware of himself, he switched off his mobile and happily went back to sleep. That was his moment of enjoying his long nap which started off with some person singing him to sleep. It was the moment of bliss as he escaped reality and entered his dreamland. At that moment there was no difference between him and a two month old baby. Sleep is when the oldest men change to become young. That was his moment of surrender to sleep and he rejoiced in it.

(‘Monday Moments’ is a blog series wherein I write about an incident or a moment in a short paragraph. It’s not a story, but just a short description to express and explore the most common joys and also the uncommon miseries.)

A Flashback. (Blogoversary Part 2)

          One year ago today I wrote a poem which was my first post. And today, here I am writing my 100th post! It's unbelievable how time passes faster while doing something that you truly love. I can't imagine myself not-blogging. I remember how unsure I was when I started my blog. I thought it would just be something that I would give up after a while. And today I'm the happiest for sticking to the only thing I have ever stuck with. There's too much passion and love for it.

          After a complete year of blogging, I can tell you how happy I am. At first, every post had around 30 to 50 page views. But now, every post has at least 100 page views. Overall, my blog has 16000 page views since a year. That's again, a big thank you to the readers. As I look forward to many changes, but first I'd like to step back and get a flashback of this incredible year.

I remember how I had written posts like

What Makes Who We Are? 

Judg"mental"ism 

Being an Introvert 

Are You Living?

I used to portray all my deep thoughts and philosophies of life through my blog. I remember how easy it felt to do something like this. I still do. And then I decided to write short stories. It was quite tough to fit into fiction from non-fiction, But the transition was what I loved. I wrote five short stories back to back! I remember how exciting it felt to write a love story. Coincidental Love will always hold a special place in my heart.

          After a couple of travel posts and many book related posts, I started my own blog series! Monday Moments is why I have started to like Mondays. In this series, I write about any random moments in brief. I try to bring out a particular feeling through my words. Lastly, I started taking up guest posts which has been a great experience so far.

Now, after committing myself to my blog portal, I've decided to bring out some changes. During this week, I'll be working on it and give you guys an improved view. Until then, keep reading!

Readers, Thank You. (Blogoversary Part 1)

          It's the first anniversary of my blog today! I'm beyond excited and thrilled. This past year flew by faster than I imagined. It still feels like yesterday when I started my blog. I feel like myself when I write and blogging has become a crucial part of who I am. When people ask about me, I say, "Hi, I'm Aishwarya. I'm an avid reader and a dedicated blogger." Being a blogger gives me a sense of privilege of being heard out there.

          I give a massive shout out to all my amazing readers. All of you who read my work daily or weekly or monthly, I love you all. Without your support and appreciation I wouldn't have been the blogger I am today. I remember how I used to write once a month. Then it changed to four times a month to four times a week and at the end almost daily. I haven't been committed to anything so religiously before this. And I'm so glad that you all stood by me through all these posts for one complete year. Here are some of the screenshots from my family, friends, relatives and fellow bloggers. Thank you so much for reading my blog.

Divya is my best friend who motivated me to write and start a blog.

          Being a writer I'm saying that words cannot state how lucky I am to have such amazing readers. Thank you, a million times.