Gamophobia. (Monday Moments #72)

She had wanted to be with him for as long as she had seen him. They had been friends for over 2 years. Those 2 years had been full of ups and downs. He crushed her hopes time and again. He was never there when she really needed him. She could get many other guys who would be better for her but she was also sure that none of them would love her the way he did.

On the other hand, he was a puzzle. When he met her, his long relationship had just ended. Ever since he saw her, he knew something was different about her. He really liked her. But he had his own issues on moving on and having a stable life. In those 2 years since he had known her, she had been distant. She cared about him but even she was not there when he needed her. She let him down in many ways too.

That day, she had a feeling, this inner voice, which kept telling her that he might propose to her. It was deep down but it kept surfacing again and again. After 2 years of wanting to be with him, she thought it would be easy to say yes. But the thought of him proposing, let alone the thought of her saying yes terrified her out of her mind. She was scared because she knew how much he hurt her. She knew how difficult he could be at times. She knew how devastating it could all end up in. It might even ruin their friendship. There were so many little things which could go wrong and so many bigger things which could just end in them both getting hurt. Being with him was all that she had ever wanted but now that it was going to happen, she was drowning in gamophobia and just hoping that somehow he would come and not let her drown.

(‘Monday Moments’ is a blog series wherein I write about an incident or a moment in a short paragraph. It’s not a story, but just a short description to express and explore the most common joys and also the uncommon miseries.)

Studying. (Monday Moments#71)

          He went to his study table. Cleared all the items on it and then cleaned it. He arranged all his notebooks properly and finally sat to prepare a study schedule. He wasn't a bookworm. But when he did something, it was with conciseness and correctness. He checked the number of days left for his exam, total subjects, total topics to be covered under each. He then allocated days to each subject based on his understanding. After making the schedule, he started with his favourite subject. It's advisable to study the hard subjects first. But, he believed in studying the easier ones at least on the first day to set the mood. He began reading the chapter, referring notes, getting extra points from the internet and then making his own answers. He set some low background music as well. As he was half way done, he just stared out the window. He loved those short breaks where he could fly away from everything. After 2 years gap from studies, he was doing quite well. Just that yearn to gain more knowledge was thrilling at that time. Soon he came out of his maze and onto his books and he just smiled. At that moment, he was only a student with no tensions about exams but just an eagerness to know more about the subject. He wasn't just studying but he was learning. In that moment, he was grateful that he could get higher education. He began studying and soon he forgot about time and space. For some people, studying isn't something done 2 days before an exam. For some people, studying becomes a part of their personality more than anything.

(‘Monday Moments’ is a blog series wherein I write about an incident or a moment in a short paragraph. It’s not a story, but just a short description to express and explore the most common joys and also the uncommon miseries.)

Mind Over Matter. (Monday Moments #70)

          Four months had passed since her two-wheeler accident. Her fracture was recovered, scars healed, bones in place but confidence lost. She walked short distances or took public transport. She would get car rides from her friends or cab rides at other times. But, she refused to do something which made her feel alive. She refused to ride. She refused to speed. She refused to fly. She became quieter, sadder and afraid.

          That day became a turning point in her life. It was the day of her medical examination. She had spent years preparing to be a doctor and this day was going to be the decider of her future. She left from her home. There was a bus and rickshaw strike that day. So, she decided to go by cab. She spent another 15 minutes going from one app to another. But, unfortunately, she couldn't find a cab because all were occupied. Walking was not an option because that would take over an hour. She was already running behind time. She was tensed and didn't know what to do. Her inner self knew what she should do but her fears were towering over her conscious. To achieve her dream, she needed to overcome her fear. She needed to ride her bike to get to the examination hall. She just needed to trust her gut and go for it.

          Finally, she decided to what her heart was saying. She went back home, took the keys and started her bike. She was scared about riding more than she was about taking her exam. She started riding, slowly and double checking everything. As she went halfway, she wasn't doing it anymore. She was shocked to find herself smiling. She was enjoying herself like she always did when she rode. Somehow she found herself and became the wild force she had always been. She was still afraid to drive at 80, but she remembered how pleasant it felt. She remembered how it was her tool for escape and also the tool for revival. She reached her medical examination in time, but she had already passed the real exam.

(‘Monday Moments’ is a blog series wherein I write about an incident or a moment in a short paragraph. It’s not a story, but just a short description to express and explore the most common joys and also the uncommon miseries.)

Miss you, Granny. (Monday Moments #69)

          It was a sad time for the family. It had been half a year since grandmother's death. Everyone knew that but couldn't quite accept it. Time moves really fast. It seemed just yesterday that she was sitting among them laughing off with some of her age-old tales. Her son remembered the many times her mother cooked for his friends. How he missed her cooking! It really had a taste of her sweetness. Her daughter remembered how hard it was for her when she married and had to leave. There were tears in her eyes, then and now. She knew her mother couldn't live without her daughter. For her mother, she was still a little girl who was trying to ride a bicycle. Her daughter-in-law remembered how kind she was to her. She taught her how to cook, how to raise kids and how to do it all while doing a job. She always had her support in everything. Her grand kids remembered the infinite stories she told them every night. They had trouble sleeping at night after she passed away. They would ask, "Where is granny? We can't sleep. The monsters will not go unless granny gives us magic." It was difficult for all of them.
It was an evening. All of them were back from office and school. It was their evening talk tradition. They talked about her. And they didn't cry but shed some happy tears to remember all her happy moments. They didn't talk about her last days. They talked about how helpful, caring, kind, compassionate and lovely she was. That was a moment the family united to remember the person who started the tradition.

(‘Monday Moments’ is a blog series wherein I write about an incident or a moment in a short paragraph. It’s not a story, but just a short description to express and explore the most common joys and also the uncommon miseries.)

Friend Zoned, Not Anymore. (Monday Moments #68)

          Nihar and Akanksha were friends for a long time. They had this huge group of friends but they remained constant through all of the gossips and back-stabbing. Nihar was a handsome guy who was adored by everyone. He stood by his principles even when times got tough. Once he hated someone, it lasted forever. He saw things as right and wrong. There was no grey. If someone did wrong to him, he would judge that person for that wrong doing and overlook the other many right doings. On the other hand, Akanksha was a calm and neutral person. She talked to everyone but never got involved in anyone. She didn't get attached to people because she knew they won't be in her life for long. So, she just enjoyed their company without creating any conflicts.

          There came a time when Nihar started talking to Amruta. She was simple, smart and had her priorities set in life. She planned everything but when she started talking to Nihar, everything got messed up for her. From a shift in priorities to being an attachment barbie. She knew how he was, how he flirted with everyone. But beyond all logic, she fell for him as he fell for her. But that was it, they fell. Because then she did one mistake which sunk the ship. She overlooked his mistakes but he couldn't overlook hers. Hate for now, hate forever.

          When they both stopped talking, Akanksha was there for him. She knew he really loved Amruta but he also needed to be himself. If he would've forgiven her, he would be someone else. As much as he loved her, he loved himself too. Although, as much as she loved him she loved herself too. So, it wasn't meant to be. But, who came to him as a friend for comfort, turned to something else. Nihar and Akanksha somehow crossed that gap of just being friends by drowning in each other’s sorrow. They realised how they were both taken for granted by everyone, how they didn't really have any other true friends, how this was reason enough to value each other as more than friends. At that moment, they realised they don't need to find anyone else because what they were looking for was right in front of them. Sometimes, you look for someone across the whole world only to realise that that someone was right in front of you.

(‘Monday Moments’ is a blog series wherein I write about an incident or a moment in a short paragraph. It’s not a story, but just a short description to express and explore the most common joys and also the uncommon miseries.)

It All Comes Down To Trust. (Monday Moments #67)

When they were friends, she asked him, "What do you think is the most important thing in a relationship?" "Trust", he answered. She said, "For me, it's love."

A few months went by and now they were in a relationship. From the smitten with each other phase, they were in a possessive for each other phase. That day, they were talking on the phone at 3 am. But then, she got another phone call from her friend. This guy was her best friend for years. They shared everything with each other which is why she said goodnight to her boyfriend and picked up her best friend's call. They talked about his problems at office and how much he missed his ex-girlfriend and how much he wanted to leave the country and do what he loved. After an hour of listening and talking and assurances, they both slept. After a few minutes, her boyfriend called to ask who she was talking to. What she dismissed as being cute about his possessiveness came to bite her late.

Every time, she talked to her best friend, he had a problem. Every time, she would go to his home, he had a problem. So much so that he started stalking their online 'last seen at'. They fought all the time. She wondered how she was okay with him flirting with every girl but how it was not okay for her to just talk to her best friend.

After a couple of months, there was less romance and more jealousy. Their relationship felt more like work and less like comfort. True love should be able to overcome everything. It should be like a bird flying higher, not like a bird in a cage. And when it starts to feel like a bird in a cage, there's nothing much left to say.

For him, he didn't want to lose her because of his insecurities. But, he failed to realise that he was clobbering her. It isn't a comprise if it comes at the cost of freedom. For her, she was never restricted to do anything and now that she was, she became someone she was not. The butterfly became a caterpillar. And the moment she decided to change for someone, was the time she didn't choose her first.

Now, when they were in a relationship, she asked him, "What do you think is the most important thing in a relationship?" "Love", he answered. She said, "No. It's trust."

And she walked away because she had to save herself because no one else would.

(‘Monday Moments’ is a blog series wherein I write about an incident or a moment in a short paragraph. It’s not a story, but just a short description to express and explore the most common joys and also the uncommon miseries.)

To Be Young And In Love. (Monday Moments #66)

          She looked at him and her world stopped. He wasn't looking at her but instead busy talking to someone. She saw his expressions change as he talked about what he loved. She saw his beautiful smile as he laughed over something silly. She watched him walk like he owned the room. She saw him stop and talk to everyone and inquiring about them because he genuinely cared. She observed how his hands did these gestures while conversing and she just wanted to hold them tight and never let go. She saw how handsome he was looking and felt like hugging him and never letting him go. She knew he was the chaos to her calm. She knew he was the storm to her sea. She knew he was different than her, but when she looked at him, all she could feel was love.

          He looked at her and that brought an instant smile on his face. He watched her pretending to be busy on her phone because she was among strangers. He watched her lips as they turned into a frown as she was probably reading a sad love story and he watched her lips smile brightest knowing she was reading how the guy proposed to the girl in the story. She sat there in a corner; shy and beautiful. Not wanting to talk to anyone but also wanting to be the center of attraction for him. He silently observed the glorious mess that she was. He knew she was the calm to his chaos. He knew she was the sea to his storm. He knew she was different than him, but when he looked at her, all he could feel was love.

          Their eyes met in that room full of people. Both were finally happy to be together. In that wedding, more than two couples found their future. Their love was a cliche. But that's the thing about cliches, they demand to be lovely. They both knew, understood and loved each other despite silly things like jealousy, friends, enemies and politics that surrounded them. Their love was enough. Their love went above and beyond all the hate. Their love won.

(‘Monday Moments’ is a blog series wherein I write about an incident or a moment in a short paragraph. It’s not a story, but just a short description to express and explore the most common joys and also the uncommon miseries.)

Praying. (Monday Moments #65)

          She was facing a quarter life crisis. Nothing was going the way she had planned. She was descending into madness. She had no one to talk to because all her friends had drifted apart. She had no family from childhood. All she had was a grandfather who wouldn't understand her problems. Once an optimist, she was now hit by depression. Her To-Do list was never-ending, deadlines were coming to hang her and she wanted to run away. This wasn't what was supposed to happen. This wasn't what she had planned. This wasn't it.

          Earlier she used to write down everything in her diary. But, since the past year, she had found a friend. She used to share everything with him. He had become her diary. He had become her person. He was as broken as she was together. She waited for him to be whole so that they could embark upon their journey together. But then, she was broken and he was together because he moved on to another girl and all she could do was wonder at her stupidity for expecting him to love her. Her best friend who was her guide had drifted away because of an illness and couldn't be there for her. Her other group of friends were too busy and successful to listen to her stories of misery and depression. The one good thing going on in her life was her job. She focused all her time on it. But, soon, after a few months she was sent on a sabbatical as she had become a workaholic.

          She was all alone with nothing to do, nowhere to be and no one to love. That's when she resorted to God. She went to a temple and sat. She prayed. And somehow from within, she felt good. She felt normal; happy even. Since that day, she began praying every day and as days went by she started feeling better. She started to enjoy the little things. She started to change her loneliness into solitude and rejoicing in it. Acceptance of the fact that you're alone is more difficult than actually being alone. Once she accepted, it was easier to live with no expectations. She found herself again in the presence of God.

(‘Monday Moments’ is a blog series wherein I write about an incident or a moment in a short paragraph. It’s not a story, but just a short description to express and explore the most common joys and also the uncommon miseries.)

Happy Independence Day! (Monday Moments #64)

          He was sitting in his office doing his usual work, talking with the usual people but something was not usual about that day. The Indian man's heart could only think about his home country on the 70th Independence Day. Living abroad becomes even tougher on occasions like these. Home sickness, longing to be with family, desire to be among your own people. All these aspects had already settled deep down in him. But at times like these, all of the emotions surfaced and made him miss India more than ever. If he would be in India, he wouldn't be working. But, right now, he was just working in his office with a few people coming up and wishing him. No celebrations, only formalities. If he would be in India, he would watch those patriotic live parades, stand proudly when the anthem played and read amazing historic articles which made him passionate about being an Indian. But, right now, all he listened to was live meetings, read reports and wrote financial articles. If he would be in India, his family and friends would hoist the flag. But, right now, his hands were tied to his desk.

          Once he got home, he talked to his wife and kids. His wife had made Indian food. His kids arranged for a video chat with his parents and friends together. They did a flag hoisting in their front lawn and sang proudly to the national anthem. It was so euphoric that for a moment, he felt like he was in India. Technology and sentiments somehow erased the distance making him feel at home while not actually being at home.

Happy Independence Day!

(‘Monday Moments’ is a blog series wherein I write about an incident or a moment in a short paragraph. It’s not a story, but just a short description to express and explore the most common joys and also the uncommon miseries.)

People Drift Away. (Monday Moments #63)

          I think the truest sentence I'll ever write is, 'People Drift Away.' Once our schooling is over, we hardly meet our school mates apart from selected 3 or 4. Same is with our college friends and class mates. But, that kind of drifting is natural. When the drifting is right in front of you, intentional and cold, then it's only painful. You think you know a person and that person is going to stay as your friend for your entire life. And just when you even dare to think like that, something happens and people drift away. Nothing lasts.

          There were two girls who had been friends almost 3 years, working in the same company and at the same level. Their friendship was very unlikely as they were completely different. If one was naive, other was a masked evil. If one failed to understand people, other understood them and used it against them. If one was a robot, other was emotional. They were poles apart and yet, no one could part them. Soon, the naive one heard rumors about her other friend. Everyone was talking about how she had been foolish to trust such a person. When things started to unblur, the naive one understood the dirty politics played by the evil one to get an undeserving promotion. From that moment on, she decided to keep everything to herself. After she was friends with her for 3 years, she thought they were like sisters. But, right when she started to think that way, she was afraid it was not going to last. The bubble popped and out came the brutal reality. She was better off alone. She started to avoid her. The naive one drifted away. But the evil one even after observing that, didn't took any effort to get back in her life. She moved on to another friend. When people drift away, intentionally and coldly, it's painful because we're not trained to cut people off who we once loved.

(‘Monday Moments’ is a blog series wherein I write about an incident or a moment in a short paragraph. It’s not a story, but just a short description to express and explore the most common joys and also the uncommon miseries.)

Happy Friendship Day!

On the occasion of Friendship Day, I'm saying a huge thank you to all the friends for putting up with me. Here's a little something for being the most amazing friends! 

From one singer to another boy band,

Through their break downs and ours,

Thanks for putting up with me, Suruchi.

From our books and coffee to movies and FRIENDS,

For being the lets-just-sit-at-home-and-talk kind of friends,

Thanks for putting up with me, Divya.

From school days until now,

For those nick names, gossips and immaturity,

Thanks for putting up with me, Aishwarya.

From being the most mature yet crazy friend to being the one who never meets,

For those long humorous advises to being a blog reminder and proof reader,

Thanks for putting up with me, Vaishnavi.

For our late night calls, 60 second long hugs and car jamming sessions,

For one year of drama followed by PTSD,

Thanks for putting up with me, Sukanksha.

From my schoolmates and collegemates to classmates,

For being so unbelievably awesome to a nerd,

Thanks for putting up with me, friends.

HAPPY FRIENDSHIP DAY!!!

Art. (Monday Moments #62)

          The Taj Mahal stood tall, beautiful and white. It is India's most eloquent and wondrous monument. At the entry itself, people get lost in its magic. Everything about it is amazing; marble look, architecture, gardens, water streams, carvings. Just everything gives it this majestic look and brings out its power in a delicate fashion. Many people visit this wonder of the world. Everyone even looks at it differently. It's a feast for artists. Among the visitors, there were many artists. One man was using his DSLR camera to shoot photographs. He spoke about its beauty through his photography. Another man was just sitting and looking at the Taj. He looked at it for inspiration for his poems. It gave him an out-of-the-world feeling to achieve his dreams. There was a woman who was intrigued by the design and carvings of the mausoleum. She was lost in the perfection of its architecture. Another girl was sketching. It felt impossible to put it entirely into a sketch but she knew it had to be a perfect sketch of a perfect monument. All the artists had their own way of describing the Taj. But the moment they when they viewed it was similar. It was a moment of appreciating art of the Taj with the art they had in their own selves.

(‘Monday Moments’ is a blog series wherein I write about an incident or a moment in a short paragraph. It’s not a story, but just a short description to express and explore the most common joys and also the uncommon miseries.)

Stay-at-home Dad. (Monday Moments #61)

          The parents woke up in the morning. Mother prepared breakfast for them and packed herself lunch for office. When she went to work, it was a father-daughter day like every other day. Dad woke up his little princess of 1-year-old. He brushed her teeth. Once again failed in potty training lessons. Bathed her and then she smelled like a flower. He fed her breakfast and let her play in the bedroom. It was a nice day. She was in a good mood since morning and hadn't thrown anything at him yet. So, he was in a good mood too. He took out his camera and did a photo session of his girl. You have to admit. there's nothing cuter than adorable baby photos. He loved them. His day went by mostly in changing diapers, making her to stop crying, feeding and back again. Sometimes he felt like being a father so soon wasn't a good decision. Sometimes he also felt that he should do a serious job like his wife does. Some days were full of regret. But then there were these little moments. The moment when his daughter looked at him and gave the most precious smile. The moment when she giggled after pooping in her diaper. The moment when she slowly went to sleep and had the same frown on her face like her mother. The moment when just looking at her, he forgot about all his worries because she was not only his daughter, she was his life and more. Then came the moment when he looked at her and she looked at him and uttered, "Dadda." He didn't know one word would matter that much to him.

(‘Monday Moments’ is a blog series wherein I write about an incident or a moment in a short paragraph. It’s not a story, but just a short description to express and explore the most common joys and also the uncommon miseries.)

My 'Brave Playlist'!

Life lately hasn't been a happy ride. There are hurdles the size of mountains and while jumping above them, you just end up getting hurt with a flawed landing. There are days that are just pure crap! Not one thing goes as you had planned. There's not a single happy moment in those 24 long hours. It feels like the Dementors have sucked the happiness out of you. All that's left is gloominess and misery. I don't need to define more, because we've all had such days. Some us more than others.

I have read so many blog articles about cheering my mood in such situations. And here's the way which always works for me. I listen to music. And not just any music, I have a Brave Playlist! All the songs in here give me so much hope about life. They assure me that everything is going to be okay. Sometimes I even end up having a dance party. All the songs in this playlist solve my sadness about social anxiety, breakdowns, friendship crises, absence of love life, career choices and feel-good attitude. Here's my gold Brave Playlist!

1. Fight Song by Rachel Platten:

I remember the time my friend told me to listen to this song and when I downloaded it, I was listening to it on repeat for a month! This is my go-to song especially during exams. It really helps with the motivation levels. Apart from that, it's the kind of song which will just give you the fire to go on. And if you scream out the so powerful lyrics, you might as well discover a new-found purpose for your life!

"All those things I didn't say.. Wrecking balls inside my brain. 

I'll scream them loud tonight.. Can you hear my voice this time?"

2. Brave by Sara Bareilles:

It's right there in the name. This song really helps with my social anxiety and clears self-doubts. I feel like it's the song of an introvert trying to speak her mind out. Sometimes in life, you feel like you've reached an impasse and you feel like fleeing to some place far away. You just need to distance yourself from all your problems. But, when you listen to this, you will feel like staying and fighting those problems because you are brave!

"Say what you wanna say.. And let the words fall out. 

Honestly, I wanna see you be brave."

3. Shake It Off by Taylor Swift:

There's always a Taylor Swift song for what you are feeling. I've been a swiftie for years now and her music has always helped me out of rough patches. I listen and dance to this song especially when I get screwed by politics or frenemies or when I'm on my 'I hate everyone' phase. Shake It Off always helps me with getting over my problems caused because of petty people. And when I'm finally on 'I don't care what they think about me', I know I'm a winner. It's dramatic but it makes me realise I am what I am. You just gotta shake it off!

"I keep cruising.. Can't stop, won't stop grooving. 

It's like I got this music..

In my mind.. Saying, "It's gonna be all right!" 

4. Dear No One by Tori Kelly:

This is the song which will be the Bible for all the single women out there! All of you are good enough alone. Love yourself and value yourself. You don't need another person for your happiness. Whenever I feel lonely, this song comes and saves me. Being an independent, introvert and a girl boss is the meaning of this song. So dear no one, take your time to find me but until then I am enough.

"I'm done looking for my Future Someone. 

'Cause when the time is right.. you'll be here, but for now.. 

Dear No One.. this is your love song.."

5. King of Anything by Sara Bareilles:

This is another song for women with sad love lives. It takes a stand for women who don't get an opinion in decisions, who are not valued and just taken for granted. It gives you a positivity of taking things in your own hands and doing what you want. Life is temporary. So, make the most out of it. Get out of meaningless relationships. Don't take no for an answer. Go wild and speak for yourself.

"I hate to break it to you, babe.. 

But I'm not drowning.. There's no one here to save."

6. Roar by Katy Perry:

Everyone knows the beauty of this song. From a kitten to a lion, you have to evolve into a stronger version of yourself. Pick up the pieces, glue yourself together and come back stronger than ever. Hear me roar!

"You held me down.. But I got up. 

Already brushing off the dust.." 

7. Where Does the Good Go? by Tegan and Sara:

This is one of my favourite feel-good songs. It's so underrated but once you listen to it, you'll be obsessed. Also, it's the parting song of Cristina in Grey's Anatomy. So, it holds a special place for me. The music gives all the positive vibes which will cheer you up real fast and get you back on track.

"Look me in the eye and promise no love's like our love.. 

Look me in the heart and unbreak broken, it won't happen.."

Fight Song, Brave and Shake it Off is for when you doubt your self. Dear No One, King of Anything and Roar is for when you feel lonely. And Where Does the Good Go is a cherry on top of the cake and make you feel great.

Do you have a Brave Playlist?

Handling Criticism. (Monday Moments #60)

          She had been a designer at the firm for about 6 months. Everyone at her office was pleased with her work. She put lots of efforts doing her job. While pursuing her Ph. D. in literature, she worked extra hours just for her passion. 'Do what you love and love what you do.' She firmly believed in that. This was why she continued on her two hobbies; design and literature, into her career. Her boss called her for a meeting that day. They had a new client with a completely different line of business. She had researched about such businesses and come up with a design. But, in that meeting, her boss told her what the client felt about it. His words were something like this. "He hated the design and wants you to re-work it. He said that he expected a much higher level of quality and was disappointed with this. He has given you more time to make something which will match his goodwill in the industry." And at the end were some words of encouragement. As she left that meeting, she had to stabilize herself because that was the first ever criticism she had received. She knew this moment would come some time in her career. She thought she would be ready but when it happened, it shattered her. With a sad existential crises, she went to her literature class. Fortunately, the book they had to read was reviewed. It was a classic and everyone was stressing on its critics. And then she spoke, "The author had two choices. He could've taken the critics seriously and quit writing. Or he could've studied them and used it as an improvement. We're lucky he used option 2 because that's how we could read his other bestsellers." And just like that, literature helped her problem with art. One hobby came to the rescue of the other. She knew exactly what she had to do. She knew she wasn't going to sit and cry about it but instead take that criticism constructively to make something extraordinary. She chose option 2 as well and she too became a bestseller.

(‘Monday Moments’ is a blog series wherein I write about an incident or a moment in a short paragraph. It’s not a story, but just a short description to express and explore the most common joys and also the uncommon miseries.)

Just Not Meant To Be. (Monday Moments #59)

          It had been a few months since his break-up. It was still tough. The pain never ceased to exist. He was still healing but then one day he saw a girl, a colleague. She was this cool person. She had heard about her but never seen her. She had heard about her interest in rock music, her tattoos, her care-free attitude. She worked to pay bills and go on adventures. She was an unstoppable fierce woman. He was quite like that. But, for him, people came first. He invested in friends the way she invested in herself. That day they talked. There was a spark in their eyes. They became really good friends in a really short period of time. His friends used to badger him to ask her out. Her friends used to do the same. There was love and chemistry between them. But, the problem was that they were scared out of their minds. After their numerous conversations, he started thinking of himself first. And she became a little less robotic and more caring. He taught her empathy whereas she taught him solitude. They knew they were vulnerable in front of each other. No one before had controlled their lives in such a way. Everyone knew that they were in love but they were afraid. He was scared of being left alone. She was scared of being left friendless. Even if it was obvious, they were in denial. It was that moment where they didn't want to lose each other even when they weren't even together.

          Sometimes, you meet the right people at the wrong time. Sometimes, there are perfect stars in the sky but the sky is not dark enough to let them shine. Sometimes, there are only happy nows and no happy endings. 

(‘Monday Moments’ is a blog series wherein I write about an incident or a moment in a short paragraph. It’s not a story, but just a short description to express and explore the most common joys and also the uncommon miseries.)

Best Friends Until? (Monday Moments #58)

          Robin glared at her phone. With no missed calls or text messages, she couldn't help but feel a pang of sadness. There was a time when this would've excited her, but not anymore.

          Robin had always been a quiet girl and kept to herself. She wasn't interested in other people's lives and couldn't even care to pretend to be interested. With the soul of an introvert, she had lived her entire life in peace and solitude. But then, she met Rachel. Within a few months, that stranger had become her best friend. Robin was coming for a breath of fresh air. She was doing things she never thought she would. The girl who just read all day, found other interesting things to do. Rachel took her hand and dragged her out of her comfort zone and showed her a world full of adventures. In those 7-8 months, she had talked to several strangers without getting anxious, went dancing to pubs, tried drinking, went on a 4-day road trip and many night-outs. All these things were just from the outside. They were all physical. But, she grew psychologically too. Rachel used to call her up and they both used to end up talking for hours on things that mattered. Robin, who replied to texts after a long gap, now talked on the phone for real. And the best part of this entire spiritual make-over was that it felt true. Sometimes she'd feel guilty about not reading as much. She even felt weird not hanging out with her other couple of friends. But, with Rachel, it was like she was her soul sister who knew her in and out. Soon, Rachel got into a relationship. And everything happened very fast. She hanged out more with her boyfriend and less with Robin. She was happy for her but couldn't help but feel sad for her lonely self. After a month of distant calls and formality meetings, she just broke down. She was losing her best friend and it hurt more than possible. She wondered why do people come into your life, give it a meaning and then just leave? Why do friends always get neglected when people get into a relationship? As she stared at her phone, she knew there won't be any long-hour phone calls, a part inside her was crushed. She missed her best friend. But she also hated her. Hated her for leaving her in the middle of a chaos. Hated her for not being there. Hated her for giving her the best fantasy movie which turned out to be a horror movie.

Why does God gives us people to love only to take them away from us?

(‘Monday Moments’ is a blog series wherein I write about an incident or a moment in a short paragraph. It’s not a story, but just a short description to express and explore the most common joys and also the uncommon miseries.)